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Today someone in the hall of my apartment building told me, “Happy Mother’s Day, if you are a mother.”  Everyone I know with children today was talking about what an honor it is to be a mother.  And I want in the club.  I want to know I’m part of something bigger than myself, to look at a person and know that I created him or her with someone I loved. And then another part of me is afraid that I’m too fucked up to bring a child into this world without irrevocably scarring him or her. Happy Mother’s Day, to all of the women who are in the same boat as me.  Maybe we’ll never have cause to legitimately hear it, but at least we’ve put some goddamned thought into the matter.

Today someone in the hall of my apartment building told me, “Happy Mother’s Day, if you are a mother.”  Everyone I know with children today was talking about what an honor it is to be a mother.  And I want in the club.  I want to know I’m part of something bigger than myself, to look at a person and know that I created him or her with someone I loved.

And then another part of me is afraid that I’m too fucked up to bring a child into this world without irrevocably scarring him or her.

Happy Mother’s Day, to all of the women who are in the same boat as me.  Maybe we’ll never have cause to legitimately hear it, but at least we’ve put some goddamned thought into the matter.